Healing Trauma and Complex PTSD
Trauma and Complex (C-)PTSD can feel like loaded words. You may even think, “I’ve been through tough times, but I wouldn’t call it trauma. Completely valid if it doesn’t fit your narrative. Sometimes, when you’ve experienced overwhelming or frightening events, it helps to create context and explore how those might be affecting you today.
What is Trauma and C-PTSD?
Trauma and PTSD/C-PTSD are just more words and acronyms here to help you contextualize your experiences. Trauma describes our body’s response to diestressing events. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) arises when experiencing trauma situations repetively and over prolonged exposure. It could be challenging to regulate your emotions, have a positive self image, or navigate relationship challenges.
The opposite of stress isn’t calm; it’s safety.
You might be thinking, ‘why should I dredge up the past and talk about something painful from way back then? I’m over it now.
Our bodies hold memories; muscle memory, actually. This means that unprocessed experiences, especially ones that overwhelm the body, will be stored within the body if there isn’t a time safe enough to understand the situation completely. This means it remains inside of us instead of being expelled.
Think of it like eating. Our digestive system decides it needs to get rid of the excess stuff the body has determined it doesn’t need. And if it fails to do so….we experience pain later on because we’re holding onto waste our bodies can’t safely store.
Similarly. Our bodies need a chance to release distress safely.
Why Do We Experience Stress and Trauma Differently?
One of the most confusing parts of stressful or traumatic experiences is how differently people respond to them. Something that deeply affects you may not seem to impact someone else in the same way.
Take siblings, for example—you may have grown up in the same household, but reacted to situations very differently. You might even wonder, “Why does my sibling seem fine with everything that happened, while I’m still struggling?” The truth is, unless someone openly shares their experiences, it’s hard to know how they’ve processed things.
But here’s what matters:
✔ There is nothing wrong with you for reacting differently than others.
✔ Your experience is real.
✔ Your feelings are valid, even if others don’t share them.
Common Distressing Events That Can Impact Mental Health
Certain experiences can stay with us, even long after they happen. Some common sources of emotional distress include:
🔹 Witnessing/Experiencing family conflict – Loud arguments, harsh words, or physical altercations can be unsettling and leave lasting emotional effects.
🔹 Feeling unsafe in your environment – Whether from people, circumstances, or uncertainty about what’s coming next.
🔹 Divorce or separation – The impact of family changes, even if they happened long ago.
🔹 Moving homes, cities, or countries – Any type of relocation can disrupt your sense of stability and belonging.
🔹 Feeling ignored or isolated – Emotional neglect can be just as impactful as direct conflict.
🔹 Accidents or natural disasters – Sudden, uncontrollable events can leave emotional scars.
These are just a few examples—your pain is valid, no matter what caused it. If you’ve been carrying emotional weight for years or feel like the "happy button" other people seem to have is out of reach for you, there may be unresolved experiences beneath the surface.
Breaking the Silence: Healing from Family Pain in South Asian Culture
Talking about family dynamics and generational trauma can feel unsettling—maybe even frightening. In South Asian culture, discussing emotional pain is often met with shame, secrecy, or guilt. While this silence exists in many cultures, it's a particularly strong message in our communities: keep quiet about hurtful things, and don’t seek help.
If you’ve ever worried about feeling judged for what you’ve experienced, you’re not alone. South Asian cultural pain thrives on silence, reinforcing the idea that your struggles should remain “private.” But here’s the truth:
Your pain is real, and it matters.
Your story deserves to be heard—not hidden.
Healing isn’t betrayal; it’s liberation.
The Cost of Silence
As an Indian therapist, I understand this struggle deeply. It’s not easy to challenge cultural conditioning that tells you to protect others—even those who have hurt you. But when you stay silent, you unintentionally reinforce the idea that your pain doesn’t matter.
What if your healing mattered just as much as the well-being of those around you?
Keeping quiet doesn’t protect you—it protects the story that’s already controlling your life. It limits your ability to step into your authentic self, free from guilt and fear.
Know this
The hurt and pain, the trauma, and the distressing event(s) are not your fault. Gently exploring how these events have impacted you decrease the influence and power they hold over you. Breaking down these experiences allows for greater self-compassion and opens the door to healing. As a result, you may feel lighter, less stressed, and more emotionally free.
According to the APA Trauma is defined as an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, natural disaster, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, experiencing or witnessing violence, death of a loved one, war, and more.
C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a mental health condition that can develop if you experience chronic (long-term) trauma.
Information from the Cleveland Clinic