Happy Growing!
It’s 2025, and that might feel like an exciting thing or maybe even a doom thing. But I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be good or bad; it is just a thing. The start of a new year is always a great time to reflect because the urge for new beginnings is in the air. Sometimes, it feels great to start from scratch, as if nothing terrible, ugly, or painful has ever happened. But the truth is that we are a culmination of our past, our current, and, of course, what has yet to be, and the best part is you get to decide what that future looks like.
Your anxiety may be telling you to change every piece of you immediately. Before you let that urge get the best of you, let's take the time to see how far you've already come. Now, I know some of you will decide you haven't really done anything up until this point, but I highly argue against it; no one arrives where you are today by total accident with no effort. Whether you have gone to school, got degrees, had one job or 20 jobs, or are currently without a job and waiting for direction, you have helped make those things happen. Instead of focusing on all the flaws and painful points of our lives, I want us to focus on leaning into loving ourselves.
Maybe that sounds gross to you, and don't get me wrong—I've balked at it, too. But to achieve all those lovely things you hope and dream about, we have to start shifting how we view ourselves: with more love and kindness.
You deserve all the love, compassion, support, financial freedom, and anything else your heart desires. You truly, truly do. But to feel worthy of that goodness, we must believe we deserve it.
Your worthiness is not determined by someone or something else. Many of us struggle with unlearning the idea that our worth is determined by an external factor. This is what I want us to do going forward: we should all decide to focus on what we have done to get where we are today and see the positive contributions we've made to our lives, no matter where we have come from.
So here's what we're going to do:
List the things we have come out from the other side of- anything that felt impossible or tough to figure out and manage. This could be relationships/marriages, moves from our familial home or out of our city and state, country, school, degrees we've accomplished and finished, projects we've decided to start, or jobs we’ve started or left.
Pick a couple of those tough moments, and remember how it felt to go through that process: the stress, the worry, pain, grief, any ‘negative’ emotion. I want you to remember what you endured vividly.
Now, I want you to remember how accomplishing and getting through to the other side felt. Think of the relief, joy, freedom, and weight lifted after it was over.
Revel in that feeling. Celebrate the fact that you came through on the other side. How amazing that was. What did it feel like? How proud of you are you?
No matter where we are in life, there's plenty more to do, and the goalpost can always move. And sometimes, that’s even a good thing because working towards goals is fulfilling. But something we might forget, especially as people who feel obligated to achieve more and do better because of our heritage and ancestry, is that we deserve to celebrate the small and big moments it took to overcome achievements and obstacles.
Feeling goodness, joy, pride, and love are all active practices. As we enter this new year with a desire to be more and better than we were before, let's start by recognizing where we've been and celebrating how far we've come. We can revel in the joy, pride, and love we have gained because we made it to the other side.
I wish you all the love and healing in the world. May 2025 be a year of gentler acceptance of you.
As Ever,
Surabhi
